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Hi friends I have been away

Hi I have had some problems the last few weeks and been away from my computer.

But here a a few jokes to keep you going.

 

Get Out of the Way

Two nuns are driving along late on a cold winter’s night.

The road is remote, lonely and extremely dark.

Suddenly, a vampire jumps out in front of the car.

“Show him your cross, show him your cross,” the first nun yells.

The second nun winds the window down and shouts

“GET OUT OF THE BLOODY WAY”.

 

Three Nuns go to Heaven

Three nuns die and go to heaven.

They are standing in front of the pearly gates and Saint Peter comes out to greet them.

“Welcome to heaven,” he says. “Now, just because you’re nuns doesn’t mean you can automatically get into heaven.

I have to ask you each a question.

“Okay,” say the nuns.

So Saint Peter turns to the first nun. “What is the name of Jesus’s mother?” he asks.

“Mary,” replies the first nun.

“That’s right. You can come in.”

He turns to the second nun. “What are the names of two of the twelve disciples?”

“Peter and Paul,” she answers.

“That’s right. You can come in.”

Then he turns to the third nun, who happens to be a Mother Superior.

“Now,” he says. “As you are the Mother Superior, your question will have to be more difficult.”

“Okay,” she says.

“Right; what was the first thing Eve said when she met Adam in the Garden of Eden?” he asks.

“Crikey,” she says, “That’s a hard one.”

“That’s right,” Saint Peter says. “You can come in.”

 

 

The Blind Man

A nun was having a bath when there was a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” she asked.

“It’s the blind man,” came the reply.

“Oh, come in then,” the nun said.

The man entered the room and looked around.

“Where do you want these blinds then?” he asked.