Category Archive: Jokes

Jokes book now available on amazon

 

The joke that was voted the most popular in the world is about Sherlock Holmes, probably because the fictional character is well known around the globe.

 

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go camping.

In the middle of the night, Sherlock nudges Watson and says

            “Watson, look up and tell me what you see.”

            “I see a beautiful deep blue sky and millions of stars and it makes me wonder about the nature of the universe and if we are alone in the cosmos.”

            “And what does this tell you Watson?”

            “Well, astrologically it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Hierologically, I can deduce that it is approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it could indicate that there is a God and that we humans are small and insignificant in the universe.  Or that we are not alone, and there are other races living on those stars that are also looking up at their own night sky. And meteorologically, I think it will be a beautiful fine day tomorrow.”

            “You idiot!” Sherlock replies. “Someone has stolen our tent.”

 

We all need to laugh, and laughing at ourselves is the best therapy. I hope you get a few giggles from this book.

 

Linda Louisa Dell

 

Three Nuns go to Heaven Three nuns die and go to heaven.

 

Three nuns die and go to heaven.

They are standing in front of the pearly gates and Saint Peter comes out to greet them.

“Welcome to heaven,” he says. “Now, just because you’re nuns doesn’t mean you can automatically get into heaven.

I have to ask you each a question.

“Okay,” say the nuns.

So Saint Peter turns to the first nun.“What is the name of Jesus’s mother?” he asks.

“Mary,” replies the first nun.

“That’s right. You can come in.”

He turns to the second nun. “What are the names of two of the twelve disciples?”

“Peter and Paul,” she answers.

“That’s right. You can come in.”

Then he turns to the third nun, who happens to be a Mother Superior.

“Now,” he says. “As you are the Mother Superior, your question will have to be more difficult.”

“Okay,” she says.

“Right; what was the first thing Eve said when she met Adam in the Garden of Eden?” he asks.

“Crikey,” she says, “That’s a hard one.”

“That’s right,” Saint Peter says. “You can come in.”

 

Bugger Me

Bugger Me

A nun and a priest were playing golf.

At the first hole the priest missed.

“Bugger me, I’ve missed,” he said.

The nun was not very pleased with his language.

“Father, I would rather you did not use that kind of language in front of me,” she said.

“I’m sorry,” said the priest.

At the second hole the priest missed.

“Bugger me, I’ve missed,” he said.

“Now Father, I did ask you not to use that sort of language in front of me. I really do not like it,” said the nun.

”I’m really sorry,” the priest repeated. “It won’t happen again.

At the third hole the priest missed.

“Bugger me, I’ve missed,” he said.

“Now Father, I have asked you twice now not to swear in front of me. I am sure if you do it again God will send a thunderbolt down.”

“I am very, very sorry,” said the priest. “I promise not to do it again.”

At the fourth hole the priest missed.

“Oh bugger, I’ve missed,” he said.

Sure enough, down came a thunderbolt that hit the nun.

And a big voice in the sky said “Oh bugger, I’ve missed.”

The most popluar Joke

The joke that was voted the most popular in the world is about Sherlock Holmes, probably because the fictional character is well known around the globe.  

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go camping. In the middle of the night, Sherlock nudges Watson and says,   “Watson, look up and tell me what you see.”            

“I see a beautiful deep blue sky and millions of stars and it makes me wonder about the nature of the universe and if we are alone in the cosmos.”            

“And what does this tell you Watson?”            

“Well, astrologically it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Hierologically, I can deduce that it is approximately a quarter past three in the morning.

Theologically, it could indicate that there is a God and that we humans are small and insignificant in the universe.  Or that we are not alone, and there are other races living on those stars

that are also looking up at their own night sky. And meteorologically, I think it will be a beautiful fine day tomorrow.”            

“You idiot!” Sherlock replies. “Someone has stolen our tent.”

Jokes

Jokes